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You Know You're a Horseperson if You...

Horse people see the world differently than everyone else, and you know you're a horse person if you do these things.

You know you're a horseperson if you...

Believe in the 11th Commandment: Inside leg to outside rein.

Know that all topical medications come in either indelible blue or neon yellow.

Think nothing of eating a sandwich after mucking out stables.

Know why a thermometer has a yard of yarn attached to one end of it.

Are banned from Laundromats.

Fail to associate whips, chains and leather with sexual deviancy.

Can magically lower your voice five octaves to bellow at a pawing horse.

Have a language all your own. "If he pops his shoulder, I have to close that hand and keep pushing with my seat in case he sucks back."

End relationships over your hobby.

Cluck to your car to help it up hills.

Insure your horse for more than your car.

Will give someone 20 names and reasons for that bump on your horse.

Know more about your horse's nutrition than your own.

Have neatsfoot oil stains on the carpet right next to the TV.

Have a vocabulary that can make a sailor blush.

Have fewer clothes than your horse.

Engage in a hobby that is more work than your day job.

Think mucking stalls is better then Zoloft any day.

Think mucking stalls with Zoloft is heaven.
December 06, 2010

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